Today is a sad bittersweet day. Today the piglets are three days old, and seemingly all is well. Big Marie is killing it as a mother again after largely farrowing on her own. The piglets are not physically removed from her, and are free to co-mingle with her as they please. They have a creep space they can go to when they choose, or they are free to snuggle up next to her. I trust her completely, and have not intervened. I watch as she gingerly tip toes around each individual piglet as to not step on them with the grace of a ballerina, then gently eases her body down careful to not crush any babies as she rolls over to nurse. It truly is a wonder to behold and I can’t help but watch in sheer amazement and awe of her.
In order to gauge Big Marie’s milk production and ensure everyone is gaining weight as they should I spot weighed them. We weighed them when they were a day old as a benchmark. So with that to compare to, I can know without a shadow of a doubt if Big Marie is giving them what they need to thrive. I went into todays weighing cautiously optimistic, but hopeful because things really seemed to be so much better this time around. Numbers don’t lie, and sadly every single piglet has lost weight.
Big Marie’s milk production is certainly better than last farrowing. I can tell by her udder development and the more “settled” the piglets seem in comparison. But, she still has never been engorged (her milk didn’t even come in before farrowing), it has always been a struggle to express milk, and while they piglets seem more settled, the agitation that comes when they aren’t getting any milk is there. It’s better, but isn’t good which isn’t good enough. In order for them to thrive and grow, I have no choice but to supplement them with milk. Not only does this mean no more goats milk for me this year (it will all go to the pigs), it also means no more breeding for Big Marie.
Whether her first farrowing set her up for poor milk production due to low demand on her udder from a small litter, or genetically she just isn’t a good milk producer I don’t know. And there is no way to know. But, I do know that I can honestly say I did everything I possibly could (diet change, supplements for deficiencies in our area, udder rubs, milk boosting herbs, trimming her down ) to improve her milk production and all around set her up for a better farrowing this time. This was her second and last chance to determine if it would be worth continuing to breed her. Sadly, it wasn’t good enough, and wanting something bad enough doesn’t make it so
Nick and I had this funny dream of being 60-70 years old and our sow being a descendant of Big Marie. I think the fact that this isn’t going to happen is what’s hardest for me, not that SHE won’t be having anymore piglets. There truly is no other pig like her, and she has the most phenomenal personality, temperament, foraging/grazing abilities, and is a wonderful mother. I could go on and on about her, and I wanted to keep a little piece of her with me forever. But, she cannot give her babies the milk that they need to thrive. I could breed her again to a boar with excellent milk genetics, hope she has a quality gilt, and hope that gilt inherits the sires milking genes. I seriously thought about it in a desperation to keep Big Maries legacy going.
But, after serious thought and logical thinking, I decided it is best to just cut our losses and start fresh rather than risk yet another disappointing situation in an effort to desperately hold onto a dream. We want quality genetics, with sows that have great milk production to wean their own piglets and farrow with ease. I fear we may never get there with Big Marie.
I have so much thank her for from a learning standpoint. I learned how to artificially inseminate from breeding her both times. I learned some hard lessons in what to look for when choosing a gilt. I learned about the sorrows and heartbreak that farrowing can bring. I learned SO MUCH about different problems that can arise medically and how to address them. I learned how to be a proper midwife, trust my instincts and think on me feet faster.
I learned, I learned, I learned.
She may not be the matriarch that I had hoped for that I could carry her line on for as long as I breed pigs. But without her, I wouldn’t know a fraction of what I know about breeding pigs and caring for sows. The hard lessons and knowledge I gained from her is something that I can carry on with future sows, even if they aren’t her descendants.
She will always be special to me, and I will be forever grateful for all the things I learned as a direct result of raising her. To some they may think “geez she’s just a pig”. Well, to me she is so much more. People don’t know the journey I have been through with her, the energy I have put in, the hopes I had and dreams pinned on her success. They don’t know the sleepless nights, or the tears. It is is extremely difficult to know that I gave everything to give her the best shot, did everything I possibly could to set her up for success and despite both of our best efforts, it just isn’t good enough. From a pig standpoint, she was my “first” for so many things, and throughout it all she was patient and trusting. I have to accept her for the many wonderful things she is, and things she isn’t.
So, I am moving on with a new gilt full of promise. I am picking up a six week old Gloucestershire Old Spot x Duroc gilt in a little over a week. I am wiser this time, and I know what I’m looking for in terms of teat conformation, size, body conformation, and lineage. She comes from a sow that has repeatedly farrowed without human intervention. Who boasts large litters with low mortality rates, and with no problem weaning even a litter as large as 13 on her own.
There is always some level of risk and things that can go wrong of course. Sometimes good genetics skip a generation, there are no guarantees. Even champions throw duds. But, bringing in a young gilt with such desirable qualities in her bloodline is the best way I can start over. As sad as I am about not breeding Big Marie again, there is a sense of a fresh start and starting over that feels promising and relieving.
As for Big Marie? Typically a retired sow is destined for slaughter, that’s just how it goes. We are adamant about not raising pets when it comes to livestock. We are meat eaters and are proud that we raise our own, and are no stranger to eating animals we have bonded with and the emotional toll. But, some animals truly are special and I believe they deserve a free pass. She is one of those animals. She makes us laugh, smile, and is the best land clearer we have. After everything that I have been through with her, I cannot bring myself to say goodbye to my third dog. Life around here would truly not be the same without her. So, we are making an exception to our “no pet” rule. She will live out her life clearing our woods, creating neatly stacked piles of brush for us to burn, and living her best life all while respecting a single line of electric fence. Even though I will miss seeing her be the fantastic mother that she is, hopefully I have many years ahead of me to enjoy her company and the joy she brings to our lives. We love her.
♡
Awww she truly was such a good mother! I’m glad she gets to be a fun quirky pet for you guys! I always enjoy getting to see that big beauty lady throughout my day!
I’m so glad she brings you a little joy!
Thanks for sharing this journey with us. I have learned so much from your posts, and I’m glad Big Marie will still be able to contribute her stick-piling and eyelash-modeling abilities for all of us to admire.
Ohhhh that made me laugh, you know her too well! And maybe now she can focus on her modeling career?
What a difficult decision to have to take and I am so glad you are making an exception to the no pet rule for Big Marie. It is so very clear from your blogs and IG that you are truly bonded with her. I wish you luck with the new gal and hope she produces piglets well for you all. Thanks for sharing Big Marie’s farrowing journeys with us all. I, for one, have grown exceptionally fond of the big lass.
I am so bonded, I told my husband that I might as well eat one of our dogs because I feel the exact same way about her. She’s a special girl, and I appreciate her so much for all she taught me.
â¤â¤â¤â¤ Big Marie is one special lady and so are you.
<3
I’m a meat eater and have no problem with the idea of slaughtering your own animals but I have to say I found myself holding my breath towards the end of your post in hopes that you would be keeping her on as a member of your farm. Made me teary eyed. I’ve grown attached to her through your Instagram. I am kind of obsessed with your Instagram. Thank you for your words, thoughts and putting it out there for all of us to see.
Thanks for following along! And yeah, this fall will make our 8th pig we have raised for ourselves for slaughter. And every year it does get easier you compartmentalize. But man, the thought of her being gone was just too much for us. She’s our mascot!
Well I could have told you that…you don’t name your food… only pets ?
Alan I name my meat too! 😀
â¤ï¸Ââ¤ï¸Ââ¤ï¸Â
Yayyyy… so glad I will still be able to enjoy big Marie’s antics! She truly is a gem and a companion that you could not replace….your heart has won out and that’s okay!â¤ï¸Â
Sometimes it’s okay indeed!
Excellent post!
Love this! Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve wanted pigs for awhile now and I live vicariously through you. Thank you
They’re wonderful animals!
I would of fainted if you ate Marie.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Big Marie is truly an amazing lady and I have loved following along in your journey. I look forward to seeing what the future holds and laughing at Big Marie’s antics.
😀
I’m so sorry about your disappointment in not having the lineage of Big Marie with you in the future… that is a sad dream to put away. However, I giggled with excitement when I read that last paragraph.. I’ve grown to love Big Marie myself through your Instagram posts and can’t say that I am in anyway shocked, haha! Can’t wait to follow along on your journey with your new gilt!!
Thank you! As sad as it is to say goodbye to that silly little dream I am excited for what lies ahead with this new girl!
I’m gonna cry;) so happy she gets to live out her life with you. She earned it;) That’ll do Pig!
Sincerely
Lisa Campi Carlisle
<3<3<3
Love Big Marie! I’m sure this was a tough decision and here’s to hoping for the next gilt’s genetics to pan out as expected!
I’m so happy she gets the free pass! She’s a special one! Same age as our Petunia that died in Jan. I’m glad to get to continue following her adventures!!
FYI I am not a farmer.
I want you to know that because of your incredible passion for animals and homesteading and your remarkable ability to write it all down and share it with us, I am SO invested in what you have to say. I love Big Marie and her babies (like who doesnt?) and I’m actually crying after reading that she gets to continue her life clearing your land! Thanks for this informative and heartwarming news. Sorry about your milk supply.
Awww Thank you!!! That means a lot, and I love that you’re invested in Big Marie! She’s a special lady that’s for sure.
You truly are one of a kind so it is fitting that you would have a one of a kind pig! I am sure Big Marie will continue to teach you in ways you can’t imagine as she lives her best life with you. The team of you and her did not fail you have seven wonderful healthy piglets and a healthy mama to prove it. Feeling your disappointment Kate but seeing your incredible strength and determination out shines it! ?
Same for us. We have our herd queen, Aly the Alpine (goat). We got her when she was 5 months old & shes given us an amazing 5 years of healthy kids but shes winding down soon & then she’ll just retire. We couldn’t eat her even though we have the same mentality as yall. Some animals are just family.
I couldn’t agree more!!!
You & Big Marie remind me so much of me and my Stella â¤ï¸Â. She was also a big personality with a stellar temperament and an excellent mother of 2 big litters, but we lost her during her 3rd last month ? I’m hand-raising her only surviving gilt in my house now with the hopes she will carry on her mama’s legacy, too. And we also name every pig, meat or not. I feel like they deserve the distinction. And a sip of beer once in a while ?
I am so sorry for your loss!!!! At least you have a gilt to carry on her legacy! And yes, we name all the pigs whether they’re breeders or feeders. You have to call them something right?
Have you thought about giving it a week without supplementing and seeing if they’ve gained? It is pretty typical to lose a bit of the original birth weight the first few days and then usually by the end of the first week things start to pick back up. They weren’t moving around burning calories while in the womb, so everything is new and different. Also, milk production is a supply and demand type of thing, so it’s possible that as long as the babies are constantly nursing and don’t look weak, her supply will pick up in response to their demand. Just something to think about 🙂
Hi yes, I had considered that it can happen (doesn’t with every sow or every litter) but in this case milk production is a known issue for her. If they had lost weight but they weren’t agitated and struggling to get milk when suckling and her udder actually appeared to be engorged or at least more engorged, I’d give it a try. But she never even got her milk in before farrowing, and has NEVER even appeared so much as engorged. The piglets are clearly hungry and not getting what they need. I’m not going to risk half starving them when I have goats milk I can supplement “just to see”. As much as I love Marie I want a sow that has excellent milking abilities with a full udder that can without question wean her piglets without supplement.
I was ready to buy her! So glad she has a home there!
What a story!! Big Marie already has a legacy in all of her instagram fans. I am thrilled she gets a free pass & will continue her colorful life beside you. It seems she is destined for greatness one way or another. Thank you for sharing her story and your incredible life in the farm!!
A big fan club for a big lady 🙂
Reading this actually brought tears to my eyes. I love watching and learning from you. So interesting and I’m so happy you are keeping Big Marie! She definitely tried her best! ?
Although I try not to judge farmers when it comes to choices like these, I have to tell you, if you were going to end this with saying that you were going to sell or butcher her, it would have completely devastated me as well as my 7 year old who loves watching your stories. Great job Big Marie and to you too!
I have a friend who names all their meat animals after movie stars 😉
Hahaha that is funny! We don’t really have a theme with the feeder pigs, just kind of whatever seems like it fits.
Though I’m sad that these are Big Marie’s last babies, I’m so glad that you’re keeping her!
Life just wouldn’t be the same.
Wow that was a great post . I learned a lot reading it. I even cried a little. Thank you Stephanie – over in the 1890’s farm house in New York
Glad you enjoyed 🙂
It has been an awesome journey learning along with you & Big Marie! We have been sleepless with you & held our breath as due dates loomed. She’s a beaut and has earned her spot as queen of the woods. Well done!
Thank you so much for following with her journey, despite the ups and downs!
? I laughed, I cried, and I loved every bit of this post! Coming from a farming family my heart sank a bit when I read she would no longer be breed, as I knew what that would most likely mean for Big Marie. I’m so glad that yall have chosen to keep her! She truly is a special sow.
You are just awesome
Well though it was not what you expected, and I will miss Big mama Marie…I am glad for the outcome and look forward to seeing her live a happy life as a sweet landscaping pig! Love you Marie
Me too. She certainly is very skilled at it and will still serve us well!
Sorry Big Marie didn’t make the cut as breeding stock. We went through a similar farrowing experience right before her first litter (we were on instagram as nextyearsfarm back then but have since backed off of social media). We cut our losses on our first sow (I couldn’t try again after what she endured) and we had a second gilt farrow. That gilt was amazing! She just farrowed again and with no intervention had 14 healthy piglets, didn’t lose a single one. She has exactly 14 teats so I knew it’d be a real test and they’re about a month old now and growing like wildfire. Starting with a new gilt was scary, but so worth it! You’re in such a great position with all you learned to really set up your farrowing program to work as nature intended it!! Best of luck!!!
Thank you so much! And yes, starting over is a little scary but very exciting!
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